Discovery Channel

I made a startling discovery last night. After years of making fun of people and questioning the path our civilization is taking I realized I’m just as bad as everyone else.

I enjoy reality television.

Sure I can hide it, disguise it as supporting Canadian television or justify it as watching a program that isn’t so popular that the girls are out of my league. But when it comes down to it I watch “Much VJ Search” because I like it and I won’t deny it anymore.

The host Ms whatever (who knows the names of Canadian stars anyways) is hot and carries herself well. The panel of four, of which three quarters are people I never heard of, take their job so seriously that I love it. I love thinking that these 6? Kids from all around Canada who nobody will know three years from now are vying to please a panel of people who the population stopped hearing about five years ago (with the notable exception of Kardinal.)

My favourite part of the show is near the end when the loudest member of the panel some rock guy from yester-year in his stage make up, tells these poor kids why they’ll never amount to anything. I’ve been watching this show for weeks and I still don’t know who this guy was.

Two other members of the panel are just as unheard of although the old dude with the blond hair is normal. Kardinal Offishall also adds sanity to the show which helps balance it out.

In the end nothing I could say about how bad this show is can compare to how bad it is that I still watch it. I regret this but after avoiding “Survivor” and steering clear of “American Idol,” for the most part, you can forgive this indulgence can’t you?

Academy Ire

Once again the academy awards have sent a message to Black people everywhere: you are crooked, criminal clowns who deserve to be viewed as such.

What sparks this accusation? Hustle and Flow. Possibly the worst movie ever made according to my banker and my back-up fly-half who may or may not be the same person. The movie is a fictional account of a pimp who struggles through attitude from his ‘ho(e)s’, insincere fellow rappers and loud neighbours to become a rap-star.

Terrence Howard does an excellent job portraying the pimp just as Denzel Washington did with his crooked cop in Training Day, but I tend to wonder whether instead of nominating this movie which surely won’t win couldn’t the academy just have issued a press release saying that they believe Blacks are animals and have given Mr. Howard a supporting actor nomination for Crash which actually is a better movie.

One of my favourite rappers, Jadakiss, sees this as a problem as well and brought it up in his song “Why” from his 2004 album Kiss of Death:

Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get an Oscar
Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it*

I guess the first objection would be: why do these actors play these parts? The answer I would propose is that they play all parts; it is their art. I hate Othello, the character, I think Hemingway got him right. He is the ultimate ‘House Negro,’ but I’m not against the play being produced. Before Denzel played the cop in Training Day, he played a criminal far worse; one who was a hustler and a pimp, a thief and a con artist but he reformed and became a leader: Malcom- X. Before Terence played the pimp in Hustle and Flow he played an artist who had a breakdown because racist cops violated his wife. The academy overlooks the movies that draw clear attention to the problem and puts at the center movies that seemingly reinforce negative stereotypes, which are the symptoms.

*Lyrics courtesy of azlyrics.com