LIC (Large and In Charge)

We walked into the bar; these guys still don’t know me. They went to sit at a table that was free; I went directly to the table with the four girls.

One was heading out for a smoke and I immediately stuck big brother on her. She was a bit confused but he made her laugh enough times in the first ten minutes that she was pretty much in love with him for the rest of the week.

One was celebrating her birthday and was being very personable another was not that interested in anything that was going on and one red headed chick was being pretty much the meanest person in the world to everyone but me.

Big brother came back and it looked like they were on their third date, all the girls rushed him and said, “you didn’t give her gin did you!” Unfortunately the answer was no, but fortunately all clear alcohol seems to fast forward her relationships.

I tried to talk to birthday girl so that I could pass her off to one of the guys and the meanest red head in the world started making fun of my buddies.

LIC, the biggest cuddliest nicest guy in the world begged her to believe him when he said “you madam, and please know I have never said this to a girl, need to go 4u(k yourself.”

It was a balsy move that I respect and stand behind but while she was the meanest red head in the world, she was also the hottest chick at the bar and she was being nice to me.

What I Need to be Happy:

Making breakfast for my friends

Cuddling

Drinking

Rugby

I have been making breakfast for my friends, I have been drinking but I have not been myself lately. Is my mood the result of my lack of rugby, or is the problem having no one to cuddle with?

I could drag myself to touch on Sunday but my new club so pales in comparison to my old club that it doesn’t even seem worth it. Talk about lack of heart on the field and lack of game off of it. These guys wouldn’t know how to control the pace of a game if they were told and wouldn’t know how to talk to a chick if, if… they were told.

I guess the lack of cuddling is what’s killing me; I know I have a friend who has conceded that what keeps her from having a relationship is a cross between not lowering her standards and liking guys that don’t understand how valuable her value proposition is.

I am incredibly persuasive when it comes to conveying my value or at least I persevere, and I know that I never had standards.

I need to put myself on a fast track to meeting as many girls as possible while at the same time finding ways to appear more aloof so that I can lure them into cuddling with me. You might be asking yourself how I will do this, well I don’t know, but luckily the organ in charge of making these decisions was given over to someone much smarter than me.

SBRP: I was going to take her out for sushi and then hopefully back to my place for red wine…

Jeep: Sushi’s boring, you said she’s arty, buy some paint supplies bring her straight to your place, hand over a tiny t-shirt and tinier shorts and paint with your shirt off. You’re not fat now are you? Forget it, it doesn’t matter. Entertaining yourself is the new entertaining chicks. Get with it.

SBRP: I am so happy that the guys put little O in your hands (metaphorically speaking) and that I made you my new consiglierri.

The fast track part will require a mental shift. I may have forgotten that I am on perma-tour out here. I need to start engaging more ladies. I had some girls over at my place and they started complaining how guys out here are super shy. I refuse to be anything like the guys out here.