What I Need to be Happy:

Making breakfast for my friends

Cuddling

Drinking

Rugby

I have been making breakfast for my friends, I have been drinking but I have not been myself lately. Is my mood the result of my lack of rugby, or is the problem having no one to cuddle with?

I could drag myself to touch on Sunday but my new club so pales in comparison to my old club that it doesn’t even seem worth it. Talk about lack of heart on the field and lack of game off of it. These guys wouldn’t know how to control the pace of a game if they were told and wouldn’t know how to talk to a chick if, if… they were told.

I guess the lack of cuddling is what’s killing me; I know I have a friend who has conceded that what keeps her from having a relationship is a cross between not lowering her standards and liking guys that don’t understand how valuable her value proposition is.

I am incredibly persuasive when it comes to conveying my value or at least I persevere, and I know that I never had standards.

I need to put myself on a fast track to meeting as many girls as possible while at the same time finding ways to appear more aloof so that I can lure them into cuddling with me. You might be asking yourself how I will do this, well I don’t know, but luckily the organ in charge of making these decisions was given over to someone much smarter than me.

SBRP: I was going to take her out for sushi and then hopefully back to my place for red wine…

Jeep: Sushi’s boring, you said she’s arty, buy some paint supplies bring her straight to your place, hand over a tiny t-shirt and tinier shorts and paint with your shirt off. You’re not fat now are you? Forget it, it doesn’t matter. Entertaining yourself is the new entertaining chicks. Get with it.

SBRP: I am so happy that the guys put little O in your hands (metaphorically speaking) and that I made you my new consiglierri.

The fast track part will require a mental shift. I may have forgotten that I am on perma-tour out here. I need to start engaging more ladies. I had some girls over at my place and they started complaining how guys out here are super shy. I refuse to be anything like the guys out here.