Exit Strategy
The scene is my kitchen at 6 am on Friday morning.
Roommate #2: So I guess things are going well with ‘the girl,’ I didn’t even hear you come in last night?
SBRP: Well actually I’m sort of going through different exit strategies.
R2: Oh that’s too bad, you guys aren’t getting along?
SBRP: Well it’s not that it’s just all girls seem to go a little crazy when you, well, you know… ‘get to know them.’
R2: Well you’ll know you have a problem if she calls you first thing this morning.
SBRP: Dude, I already have a problem I was with her first thing this morning.
R2: -Laughs hysterically-
I called my buddy last week and told him we/ I had it all wrong. It’s not the girl who goes crazy when ‘we study the bible’ (for lack of a more clever original euphemism) it’s us who change. I was so excited that I finally figured this out but now I’ve done a 180 and I’m back to where I began, all chicks are crazy as soon as ‘the rubber hits the road’ (euphemisms are hard).
In the past I’ve been accused of not being true to the title of this blog. But now, more than ever, I see how this is one of my limited outlets and connections to back home and I’m renewing my commitment to being single and all the rest of it too.
From now on I’ll be chronicling my misadventures on a weekly basis, I’m figuring one chick every 2 weeks will be more than enough material and if I hit a dry patch there’s always being black and being a rugby ‘playa.’
Also I’m introducing an advice facet to the blog and if you need specific help in any area we cover here, please do not be shy to get in touch. It will be my pleasure to poke fun at your problems for everyone to see.
Roommate #2: So I guess things are going well with ‘the girl,’ I didn’t even hear you come in last night?
SBRP: Well actually I’m sort of going through different exit strategies.
R2: Oh that’s too bad, you guys aren’t getting along?
SBRP: Well it’s not that it’s just all girls seem to go a little crazy when you, well, you know… ‘get to know them.’
R2: Well you’ll know you have a problem if she calls you first thing this morning.
SBRP: Dude, I already have a problem I was with her first thing this morning.
R2: -Laughs hysterically-
I called my buddy last week and told him we/ I had it all wrong. It’s not the girl who goes crazy when ‘we study the bible’ (for lack of a more clever original euphemism) it’s us who change. I was so excited that I finally figured this out but now I’ve done a 180 and I’m back to where I began, all chicks are crazy as soon as ‘the rubber hits the road’ (euphemisms are hard).
In the past I’ve been accused of not being true to the title of this blog. But now, more than ever, I see how this is one of my limited outlets and connections to back home and I’m renewing my commitment to being single and all the rest of it too.
From now on I’ll be chronicling my misadventures on a weekly basis, I’m figuring one chick every 2 weeks will be more than enough material and if I hit a dry patch there’s always being black and being a rugby ‘playa.’
Also I’m introducing an advice facet to the blog and if you need specific help in any area we cover here, please do not be shy to get in touch. It will be my pleasure to poke fun at your problems for everyone to see.
posted by Ovett at 9:07 PM
4 Comments:
If you're a girl about to say that girls aren't crazy do the following before leaving a comment: 1- think about the craziest thing you've done because of a guy and look deep within yourself and admit that this would never happen to a guy 2- redefine your definition of crazy to include yourself.
It's late and this was just the right dose of funny I needed. You make me laugh. A desperate laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.
You can totally see them from Help my Tuna but they are even better up north away from city lights. We'll make a point for you to see them in the next 2 years.
BBwwwaaahhaaaaa. Exit strategies! For as much as you so eloquently put it 'study the bible', you should savour every aspect of your 'sparce', 'lucky', 'I met another chick with remarkably low self-esteem out here' hook-ups, not just the three minutes you distracted her with discount wine and college words managing to sneak it in her up to the first knuckle so you have something to text home about.
Advice column! Heres some pre-advice to your reader (no i didn't forget the 's')on taking your advice. Buy ear plugs, repeated exposure to a rape whistle can cause extensive hearing loss.
I may be better but that's because I've had more practice. You'll learn because you appreciate food as much as I do. Am I seeing you this weekkend?
Post a Comment
<< Home