Retribution
Being an English Lit Major is to be the butt of many a joke. Friends telling me about how I’ll work at McDonald’s and generally just never be able to apply the degree. And they may well be right but on more than one occasion or more accurately on almost every occasion when they have to write a paper I get a call and their tone has changed. This could range from a quick call about a thesis statement to an afternoon working and re-working paragraph after paragraph.
Helping friends with their papers never really evened us out though because firstly friends help each other and for me to help one friend with form and have another friend help me with content only seems normal and secondly in the end they would have a degree in science or engineering and I would still be at McDonald’s.
I received retribution though recently and I think it will last a life time.
Helping a friend on their essay on religion and the environment they set me up to be Christianity’s champion. They would tear apart Christian values and how those values are responsible for the destruction of nature and I would defend against every accusation.
Them: So He destroys all of nature and all the animals because of humans?
Me: But you could see it as, us being so intertwined with nature that we must both suffer and He did save a pair of each animal.
Them: Ok so what about the plants and what about all the fish and the whales?
Me:…well the plants survived because Noah sends the dove out and it comes back with a branch and… well it was a flood right…
Them: Yah?
Me: …Well whales and fish live under the water so they wouldn’t really die…
Them (Blushing): …Duh. No kidding. I can’t believe I said that. In class someone just said it and we were listing out the topics so we just all wrote it down and rushed to the next point even the teacher didn’t say anything but the teacher must have known, he was probably laughing at us.
Me: I was laughing on the inside.
I'm happy and sad to now that I'm smarter than people who are going to be on the cutting edge of science. I’ve played the pronoun game here to protect the guilty, ‘them’ instead of ‘she…’ or ‘he;’ ‘they’ instead of ‘her’ or ‘Mel.’
Helping friends with their papers never really evened us out though because firstly friends help each other and for me to help one friend with form and have another friend help me with content only seems normal and secondly in the end they would have a degree in science or engineering and I would still be at McDonald’s.
I received retribution though recently and I think it will last a life time.
Helping a friend on their essay on religion and the environment they set me up to be Christianity’s champion. They would tear apart Christian values and how those values are responsible for the destruction of nature and I would defend against every accusation.
Them: So He destroys all of nature and all the animals because of humans?
Me: But you could see it as, us being so intertwined with nature that we must both suffer and He did save a pair of each animal.
Them: Ok so what about the plants and what about all the fish and the whales?
Me:…well the plants survived because Noah sends the dove out and it comes back with a branch and… well it was a flood right…
Them: Yah?
Me: …Well whales and fish live under the water so they wouldn’t really die…
Them (Blushing): …Duh. No kidding. I can’t believe I said that. In class someone just said it and we were listing out the topics so we just all wrote it down and rushed to the next point even the teacher didn’t say anything but the teacher must have known, he was probably laughing at us.
Me: I was laughing on the inside.
I'm happy and sad to now that I'm smarter than people who are going to be on the cutting edge of science. I’ve played the pronoun game here to protect the guilty, ‘them’ instead of ‘she…’ or ‘he;’ ‘they’ instead of ‘her’ or ‘Mel.’
posted by Ovett at 1:55 PM
6 Comments:
Nothing to say in my defense. Acurate story. I guess scientists don't bother thinking too much about fairytales ;P
Oh yes, it's funny how being a 'smarter than everyone' english lit graduate still doesn't mean you can spell.
well they said it in class. so it must be true and reference. i hear its like reading it in a book
I agree, it was referenced. But how legit is the Bible as a reference anyway? It's not even peer reviewed! Prophet 1 said this, prophet 2 said that. blah blah blah, suivant, next.
Hey Miss Lisa, teach your boyfriend how to spell.
now=know
Idiot, G-d!
Napoleon
Hey Miss Lisa, why don't you teach your boyfriend how to spell.
now=know
Idiot, G-d!
Napoleon
Youre missing the big picture here. Ive given up on the older generations. I say start young. Kids are getting smarter & smarter these days. With a little blue construction paper & a bleach pen, 4 yr olds can learn that fish live in the ocean. crazy eh!
Maybe McGills biology dept should take a few notes. i can always suggest a guest speaker. he might need a few phone books but it looks like it would be helpful.
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