one wish too many

I think ranking my birthday presents would be shamefully uncouth. So instead of saying the best gift I got was when my friend got her girlfriend to call me up, wish me happy birthday and talk dirty to me, I’m going to say that one of the most interesting presents I got was when one of my friends got her girlfriend to call me up, wish me happy birthday and talk dirty to me.

How it really went down:

Hello?

Is this the Single Black Rugby Player?

It is, are you my birthday gift from our friend?

That’s what I was supposed to say but you guessed and ruined it.

Well another way you could put it is that I was sitting here fantasizing about two things and one of them actually came true.

Well alright, so are all your birthday wishes coming true?

One down, one to go. Slight pause. So you cheating on your new boyfriend yet?

Substantial pause

Click. Dial tone.