sheriff john brown never liked me for what reasons i think i know

Ok so as anybody that has an older brother out there knows, there are certain rules to who drives when you have a sibling in the car. If you borrowed the parentals’ vehicle, then the older one drives, because they’re older. If it’s the older one’s vehicle then the older one drives because it’s their car. If the older sibling is female then you drive because they’re a girl. If it’s your vehicle or a rental vehicle the older one drives or you drive but only through their graciousness. If you rent a car and the older one has misplaced his license then he drives because he’s older. And if he gets pulled over and gets a ticket, that ticket belongs to you because you had a license only until sheriff John Brown decided that 85mph in a school zone, where there was construction work going on is “a lil’ fast there boy” and then that license becomes property of the driver.

Sheriff Brown: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Radio : “No sir.”

The constant narrative in my head: “That’s right play stupid and provoke the guy it’s my license and everybody’s going to jail anyways when he decides to search the car since those guys in the back decided seven hours was too long to wait to start getting drunk on duty free booze”

Sheriff Brown: “Here’s your ticket sir”

Radio: “Thank-you officer I’m sorry about that you caught at the bottom of a hill”

The narrative: “Oh you didn’t just thank-him, you think your funny I’m not paying that sh** and don’t even think I won’t tell Mom’

Driving away

TMR Dudes in the Back seat: “I thought you forgot your license… Whoa what just happened here… but you guys are sitting right beside each other!”