Beaconsfield Beats Quebec 27-3, "I got him, I got him, F*&% NOOOOO!!,"make that 27-10

Playing Quebec last week-end was fun. We definitely proved that we were missing more in our first match with our 6 vacationing starters than they were with their missing fly-half.

All game Pat "Butt Kicker Extraordinaire" Kerton kicked butt. He smoked his opposing center so hard and so consistently, guys from both teams and the official cringed at the sight. Tim "Butt Kicker As Well" Brown, not wanting to be left out, put the smack down in his own right. The two teamed up to make the hit of all hits, when they came from all sides to break the Quebec Fly-half into pieces on a short restart to himself. Later in an interview the two would concede admiration for the opposing player as they "did not expect him to get back up."

The eight-man from the other team said it best when he explained that their fly-half who usually went for a few runs a game only saw defenders when he looked up. "He had nowhere to go," he said.

Kicking for touch and points was what it needed to be. Could it have been better? Fly-half Scott "The Torrador" Gill would be the first to say yes but it went well nonetheless.

In our first match up against this team the forwards sent them backwards on every scrum and made our scrum-half look like a tackling machine which, he is not. To the forwards credit though all the put-ins could have been judged feeding, whether it was the opposing scrum-half sending the ball into the second row's feet or our own scrum-half sending the ball into the opposing team's front row. Luckily our coach blamed our hooker for hooking and not our scrum-half for feeding to the other team. Even though the put-ins weren't fabulous the scrum-half had a better game than in week's past. Except for when he passed a ball to Chris "If I Can Drop Kick in Practice I can Drop Kick in Games" Quinn. Ovett must have told Chris "I do What I'm Told" Quinn to drop back into the pocket and try a drop kick. True to form he tried it and missed; he didn't miss the drop kick- he missed the ball.

Other notable plays include the second to last play of the game. Off the back of a ruck the opposing fly-half who was recovered from the gang tackle by our centers cut outside and Scott "Has anyone seen my cape" Gill lined him up. The fly-half then cut inside and Scott "Because that's the only cape that goes with this purse" Gill stayed with him and got that purse ready and set. Then came a play that flirts that grey line where the best players play, the fly-half cut for a third time, yes a third cut, our president is checking the law book as we speak and is ready to contest the play if necessary. Scott "Who plays Commando? I play Commando" Gill wasn't looking for his cape or his purse now; he was looking for his underpants. But like a true leader he took immediate and complete responsibility for the missed tackle, and Chris "Straight shooter" Quinn gave it to him straight, "No Sh*t."

The Quebec Guys stayed after the game and ate pasta with meat sauce and then left and we all thought about how much we would hate driving three hours to get home after losing a game. The post game was marked by a very pleasant talk with the guys. It might be the first time that so many of us just sat around and chilled out at our very gracious sponsor Cheevz at The West Island Tennis Club. For more on that we have a fake interview with Britney from Cheevz.

Roger: "Hi, Britney do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions for our write-up"

Britney: "Umm… ok shoot"

Roger: "Do you want to go out on a date?"

Britney: "No"

Roger: "That's it 'no' how about something a little longer, maybe multiple syllables"

Britney: "How about 'ne-ver' ?"

Roger: "Maybe you need to think about it, do you want to think about it?"

Britney: "No... Actually how about 'not real-ly' that's multiple syllables, I'm good at this, anything else?"

Roger: "No"

Britney: "Hey, that's only one syllable!"